More Than A Good Time

There is a difference between fighting to keep a relationship and fighting for a relationship.


In past relationships when something threatened at ripping us apart, I or my then-boyfriend would grab a new patch and sew it on top... instead of tending to the original tear. Stay with me, y'all... The tear was still there, but it was covered up. Sometimes this isn't so bad; in a sense, the tear was protected and forgotten. It was just a lingering scar. However, there were some tears that didn't just need protection... they needed mended or else they would get bigger! This is where the issues would begin to come undone.

The average relationship seems to last several months. Depending on the couple, between 4-6 months those "butterflies" and/or "sparks" fade away and they are left with reality. From that point there is normally a split within the next 4 months because they just "fell out of love."

Now let me bring those two paragraphs together for you, maybe you'll see how they blend...

In those beginning months, little annoyances and quirks are ignored (covered with a patch). Things that would tip you off to what you'll be dealing with in the rest of life with this person. Any fights are quickly protected without ever really being dealt with or mended. When the feelings fade, often the patches are suddenly scratching... begging to be ripped off in fights or irritating in general. Now they are no longer covering small tears though, but big holes. What else is there to do but leave the pile in a heap and walk away?

This... I consider to be fighting to keep the relationship. Wanting the relationship with all it's *benefits, way more than wanting to inquire about that *small print. Unfortunately the small print is there for a reason, regardless of size; it's often the small print that warns of the biggest issues. Couples who fight to keep the relationship wave off that it's there until it smacks them in the face.

They are more scared of losing the relationship than they are of losing the person. Once the relationship has ended, they forget the holes, remember the good times (often those new, and brightly colored patches), return and repeat.


Next there's fighting for a relationship. Feelings do not necessarily come into play here. This is about two people who are fighting to be with each other because it's who they are meant to be with. The fabric of the relationship and what/who holds it together is tested repeatedly: a big rip out of no where, several small holes all over, or that occasional tear. This couple is going to attack that tear! They know their relationship is more precious than to ignore something like this. A small crack in a window could cause the whole thing to crash after all. They aren't just willing to work at what comes up, but ready.

The difference in this couple and the other isn't how long they have been together, but how they approach the small print. The small print in every relationship that warns: will be tested.

ESPECIALLY when it's two people God has brought together! The way those tears take place will be different according to each couple... the key is not in avoiding the trials, but in how to get through and, ultimately, overcome. The couple fighting for their relationship, that has God on their side, isn't going to sugarcoat life, but will take the time to walk through each problem. From the past scars that need mended to the future problems that will come.



When your relationship is submitted in God's hands... don't think it will be a stroll in the park. Marriage is sacred to God and an abomination to Satan. All Hell will break loose in attempt to tear that marriage apart before it has even started... a relationship that's going to make it is one that says:

We're in this for life, not just a good time. *It's okay that we'll be tested. God's got this.